Tag Archives: self-determination

What compassion means to me

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When I tried to write what compassion means to me, I had the hardest time. What amounts to a potential high school essay, I deleted and rewrote numerous time.

Maybe I didn’t say enough. Or I said too little.

I thought about telling you a story, but I couldn’t narrow down to a single event that would tell you what compassion looks like to me. (Strange, a storyteller not having a story to tell.)

I just have to tell you the best way I know how without a pretty polish or a spoon full of sugar.

To me, compassion is not pity or sympathy, which is just pity-light. It’s not a selfish act or emotion. It doesn’t involve somehow “proving” what a good person you are.

It’s the willingness to meet someone where he is. To not judge. To understand that you don’t get it.

You honestly don’t.

You may have had some similar situation happen. That’s entirely possible. Yet…

You don’t know everything he’s gone through. You don’t know what brought him to your door. His Truth is real. For this person, it’s a tangible thing he lives with.

He may not have handled the situation the way you would. He may have just dealt with it the best way he knew how, which maybe led to a negative outcome.

Don’t dismiss him because he made mistakes. Or his recovery is taking longer than yours. It matters. It happened. He’s a person.

People in general have a huge capacity to harm each other. We can be hurtful and thoughtless without meaning or with a fiery purpose. I know I’ve been too harsh. Sitting on my throne built on, “If you would just do xyz, you wouldn’t be like this.” and “How does anyone get into this situation?” Entirely too quick to judge.

This extends to my views of myself.

I’m such a mess. I’m a deeply flawed human being who consistently makes mistakes. I jump, misjudge the distance and fall short all too often. If we wore our inner scars on the outside, I would be a torn motley quilt of messily stitched patches, hurriedly sewn together with imprecision and decidedly lack of forethought.

I’m the embodiment of the bull in the China shop of life.

And that’s ok. Even as this imperfect patchwork, I have to recognize my value with my flaws. I must know myself, what I bring to this world and remember what I’ve overcome to get here. To not judge myself too harshly.

Before feeling that compassion for others, we must first give it to ourselves. Oh Ru Paul you were so right–

“If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?”

We have a huge capacity to love. There’s no limit to that metaphorical human heart. It pulses with beauty and hope. You can see it in the way the quiet elegance of the tides ebb and flow, the twinkle in your Mom’s eye when you give her a surprise visit and the giggles of a child playing with his puppy. It’s everywhere.

By giving that compassion to ourselves and others, we can tap into that heart. Make it stronger.

I urge you to join this movement of #1000Speak. Shed light to your corner of the internet. Together, we’ll make it shine like a clear summer’s night sky. Beautiful.

If you’re wondering what #1000Speak is, check out this video we made:

If you write a post, link it up here:

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Filed under self realizations

Doing what I want

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One day when The Mathemagician and I were going to see a movie,I took a pic of this guys feet. He had a tattoo of slippahs, so he didn’t have to wear shoes! Whatever,he does what he waaaaants.

Or how a hillbilly gets her grove back.

The A to Z blogging challenge gave me an opportunity to write. A lot. I’ve realized I’m not a daily blogger but 3 to 4 times per week is my sweet spot.  And while I was writing, I kind of crafted the key elements that I want to pursue with this blog: writing tips, how-tos, social media and writing, my poetry, info on poetry and guest blog posts. But I have so much more to say than that.

And so I’m going to start another blog. I’ll give you more info as I shape and play with it. I’m really excited about it! I just wanted to give you a heads up.

Also, I wanted to go hang out with some friends. I am visiting my homeland of West Virginia, so I’m trying to see as many people as possible. But not everyone has wifi. Or even internets. So, I had to do stuff like *gulp* interact with real people. 

*Scchrrreeeech*

No, actually that was awesome. It’s really good to just connect with someone other than a Gravatar or a profile pic. It did make it more difficult to post. I tried posting things from my tiny Android screen. In fact, a couple of the last posts A to Z posts were from the new phone. I’m still trying to get used to that WordPress app. It’s a bit odd, but it worked in a pinch.

Oddly enough, the act of not blogging made me lean more toward fiction. I started writing  on two short story ideas,  you know just to get the ideas down. The bloggingg…eh…not so much.

What do you do when you’re heart wants to write about one thing, but the brain is trying to get into to something else? Should I start adding short stories to this blog as well? Let me know what you think in the comments.

OH! I made a button. It’s on the right over there. Do you like it? I tried to make it smaller, but I’m not sure if it’s small enough. Let me know gang, and feel free to steal it. That’ll make me feel pretty and special. 😀

Aloha ya’ll

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Filed under self realizations

How not to self-edit your story away

You can reach your goal. It just seems dark right now, but you'll get there.

You can reach your goal. It just seems dark right now, but you’ll get there.

Or how a hillbilly buries her overly critical inner bitchy voice in the sand.

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.

~Maya Angelou.

We all have that inner voice. H/she has got choke opinions from the food you’re eating, where you go, and down to the slippers you buy. This Talky McTalkerton analyzes, and then reanalyzes EVERYTHING, which isn’t always a bad thing. It could be a positive when it analyzes the cost effectiveness of buying the $100 extension pack for the RPG game you love, but its purchase results in you being short on rent. It becomes a writing hazard when you have a Work In Progress you need to complete and a deadline looming uncomfortably over your head. You write stuff. Change that. Write some more. Delete it all. Write some more. Change it. Write it. Delete it. Get frustrated and watch YouTube Videos for two hours. You must break the cycle or work will never get done.

What do you do?

You just have to write. I know, I know. That sounds so lame, but it’s true. Before that WIP can be a finished masterpiece, you have to get all of the words out. Here’s some ideas for you from me, Pinky Lee.

1. The old pen and pad. Obviously, I’m pretty into taking it back old school, but it does make it a little messier to scribble/scratch out words you’ve written.

2. Writing sprints. Set a timer, giving yourself 5 minutes, then 10 mins, etc. of pure writing. During that time period, you can not use the backspace. You can’t even go back over what you read. Eventually maybe you can build up to a writing marathon of an hour or two of pure writing.

3. Use distraction-free word processors like FocusWriteryWriter or WriteMonkey. Each are pretty unique programs that help to strip down writing, and offers different features to help you to set goals and achieve them. They showcase handy features like setting alarms, spell-check and even typewriter sound features *swoon.* They’re kind of stripped down versions of other word processing systems. Added bonus: free.

4. There’s an app for that: iAWriter, WriteRoom and SimpleNotes.

Here’s some things to get you started. You can write it out and get it done. I know you can. What are some ways you shut up your inner editor? Write them down in the comments. Love hearing from you guys!

Aloha ya’ll!

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Filed under revision