Christine Keith was the head blogger in charge at Adventures of a Thrifty Mama. She won’t be writing anymore stories about homeschooling her kids, or eating healthy on a budget. She will not be tucking her children in tonight. They will not open presents with her or their big brother this Christmas or ever again.
Last week, Christine was murdered by her estranged husband. He shot her and their fourteen year old son Isaac before turning the gun on himself. It makes me sick to say this, but she’s not the only one.
Last month, there was a murder/suicide in the building next door to where I was living then.
Today, someone you know is trying to defend herself and her children. She lives in fear every single day. In the United States alone, one in four women have been victims of domestic violence. People still don’t talk about it.
This is embarrassing.
What will people say?
What will they think of me?
What will happen to my kids if I talk?
What will happen to me?
What will happen to him?
Yes, what will happen to him? He’s not always abusive. The typical abuser doesn’t beat someone 24 hours a day, seven days a week. There are times when he’s charming, charismatic, even loving-or some type of mimicry of love. Those are the times when it’s easiest to think: This last time was the last time. He promised. He says he loves me. Doesn’t he love me? He says no one else will love me like he does. He said he was sorry. He said if I left him, he would kill me. I can’t make it without him.
The reality is, she’s not safe. This cycle of abuse: the abuse, the “honeymoon period” when everything is ok, the times leading up to the abuse where things start getting bad again and then the explosion of abuse–it’s a terrifying place to live, and it’s unpredictable how far the violence will go.
One in three women in the U.S. die by the hands of their boyfriend or husband. One in three women. The most dangerous time is when she’s left him. When he feels like he’s losing control, when he feels like she has “disrespected” him by going. When she has finally implementing that plan that she checked and rechecked. When she feels that she’s safe.
Christine Keith had left him. And now she’s gone.
It doesn’t have to be this way. We have to stop turning a blind eye to situations because they’re uncomfortable. Because we’re afraid to get involved. We have to give these women the love and the support they deserve. No one should die because she wants to live in peace.
Christine Keith left three orphans, who are now living with her parents. If you’d like to donate to her memorial fund that her church established please click here. Their home is a crime scene now, and they could use our support.
If you or someone you know needs help, here are some resources available to you:
There’s the National Domestic Violence Hotline, where trained expert advocates are available 24/7 to talk confidentially. There’s Safe Horizon, which helps connect victims to shelters.
There’s the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence, which provides access to information, and opportunities for training and education for those who want to work to end domestic violence, or intervene on behalf of somebody in your life.
You do not have to go through this alone.
There are people who care.
You can receive help.
As long as you are alive, it is not too late.
You are not alone.