Happy 4th of July! Here’s to keeping all of your limbs!

Pow! Bang! Boom!Every year, 4th of July has the same kind of feel all over the country: bar-b-ques, swimming, togetherness, day off of work, beers (like this Yuengling that I’m drinking, America’s oldest brewery) and of course, fireworks.

For some reason, the day is always punctuated by some guy (usually), who has blown off an appendage by using some illegal fireworks, like this guy.

I love fireworks, they’re awesome. They make loud sounds, pretty colors and smoke: and I dig all three of these things. However, if you’re going to be shooting off fireworks, here’s some basics, just off the top of my head:

1. Don’t look at the firework closely b/c it hasn’t gone off. It will probably go off in your face. Haven’t you watched Looney Tunes before? C’mon!

2. Don’t hold the firework in your hand so it can fly out of your crazy handmade tube or whatever. You’re going to loose a limb.

3. Make your McGuyver rig sturdy. It will fall down, or it will shift, changing direction of the firework: You will catch someone’s house, car, dog or face on fire. Mayhaps even a tree. And remember-if you can’t Duct it, F*ck it.

4. Light it and move out the way. You don’t need to stand right beside it, or above it to watch it blow, Mr. Arsonist.

5. Realize that when you’re using the commercial fireworks, you’re risking blowing your body off. Even if it does look cool (The rockets red glare, not your body bursting in the air. What? Too soon?)

Alright, these are my tips…or you could do the smarter thing and just buy the regulation fireworks and leave the huge explosions to the professionals.

Happy 4th of July everyone!

Pow! Bang! Boom!


Filed under Uncategorized

8 Responses to Happy 4th of July! Here’s to keeping all of your limbs!

  1. When I was little, my older brother lit a sparkler. It scared me so much, I accidentally jabbed the lit sparkler into his hand. BWAHAHAA.
    Yes…fireworks…so pretty. 😉
    Cyndi recently posted..Blue Gold: The Water CrisisMy Profile

  2. Kat

    I like leaving it to the professionals and just tinker the camera for good shots. Happy 4th of July!
    Kat recently posted..June Staycation: How I enjoyed my own home and neighborhoodMy Profile

    • Tamara Woods

      It really easier that way, though it’s hard to get good firework photos. Hope you had a Happy 4th!

  3. These are great tips. My favorite tip however is go downtown or where ever your town/city does the show and let the experts handle it. PLEASE
    Running Mama recently posted..Unicorns Fart GlitterMy Profile

    • Tamara Woods

      I find that living out in the middle of nowhere, folks are more likely to take that matters into their own hands. With beers. Dangerous.

  4. Larry

    “crazy handmade tube” that was my favorite part….HAPPY 4th!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge