When the tsunami warning happened, I was blissful in the land of medicated nod. When I awoke, our fan was running and our roommate’s TV was pretty loud. I could vaguely hear some type of unfamiliar whining sound.
“Is that a siren?” I wondered. But I dismissed that as silliness.
I checked my phone and my brother (in West Virginia), who is prone to going from zero to hero in an instant, had sent progressively more and more scared/doomsday/yougonnadie texts.
It went from: “Hey Sis, we’ve heard you have a tsunami going on out there. You need to get your medical supplies and find shelter.”
To: “This is your brother (Insert Name Here) and we love you. We know you’re out there on that island for only God knows why. YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME! STOP NAPPING AND GO FIND HIGHER ELEVATION! I AM SERIOUS!!!!!!! YOU GONNA DIE!!!!!” (Ok, maybe not the you gonna die part.)
I was left with more questions than I had answers:
- Why did he think I didn’t remember who he was? My nap wasn’t concussion induced. I was just sleepy.
- How the hell did he know I was napping?
- Why didn’t he call?
- How did I sleep through all of that phone ping sounds?
I replied that I remembered who he was and I was going to find out what was going on and what we needed to do. Then a couple of my friends from O’ahu starting sending texts about finding higher elevation.
Then I knew we were screwed. I asked my roommate if we were in danger. And he pointed out that we’re by the water, so yeah. And he told me he was going to his baby mama’s house, so he was good. And I asked him what The Ant and I should do. He suggested going to the Mall. (Awesome?)
We started packing: clothes, some food stuffs, my Nook, laptop, a blankie, you know essentials. The Ant was complaining the entire time. Apparently, the potentially scariest storms of our sheltered life was interrupting study time. *sigh* (Could you drive me any crazier please, kthankx!)
I started driving (which was probably illegal, because of the meds that I’m on, but don’t worry, I hadn’t taken them in hours so I was just in a crap ton of pain). My first inclination was to go to the only bar that I’ve found that I like in Kaneohe. Unfortunately, there was on parking anywhere near there. So that was out.
I drove to the Mall, but the security followed us in their little golf carts and it freaked me out, so we motored out of there. We drove up Kahekili Highway and took a
right into the Ko’olau shopping plaza. I thought we could watch a movie and wait out the tsunami. (I know nothing about tsunamis obviously.) The place was closed. The McDonalds had lights on, so we were gonna haz cheezburgers, but they were closed too.
The Ant,”Why is the McDonalds closed?”
Me, “Because people needed to go home. Cuz there’s a tsunami warning. And they don’t make enough to ride or die for McD’s.”
The Ant, “That’s dumb.”
I’m pretty sure my eyes were audibly rolling at that point. I know I wishing for a cheezburger and a drink-preferably filled with vodka.
There were other people in the lot as well. We listened to the radio, stole some wifi and waited. And waited. And waited. Fortunately, the tsunami was called off due to lack of tsunamiing. What did I learn? –Basically, we’re lucky as hell.
So how does a hillbilly survive a tsunami?
The Ant,”Run for the hills.”